The Best Cover Letter Ever

After working in advertising as a copywriter in New York City, Robert Pirosh moved to Hollywood in 1934 with dreams of becoming a screenwriter. Below is a transcript of the cover letter he sent to all of the directors, producers, and studio execs he could think of. Pirosh went on to win an Academy Award in 1949.

Dear Sir:

I like words.

I like fat buttery words, such as ooze, turpitude, glutinous, and toady. I like solemn, angular, creaky words, such as straitlaced, cantankerous, pecunious, and valedictory. I like spurious, black-is-white words, such as mortician, liquidate, tonsorial, and demi-monde. I like suave “V” words, such as Svengali, svelte, bravura, verve. I like crunchy, brittle, and crackly words, such as splinter, grapple, jostle, and crusty. I like sullen, crabbed, scowling words, such as skulk, glower, scabby, and churl. I like Oh-Heavens, my-gracious, land’s-sake words, such as tricksy, tucker, genteel, horrid. I like elegant, flowery words, such as estivate, peregrinate, Elysium, and halcyon. I like wormy, squirmy, and mealy words, such as crawl, blubber, squeal, and drip. I like sniggly, chuckling words, such as cowlick, gurgle, bubble, and burp.

I like the word screenwriter better than copywriter, so I decided to quit my job in a New York advertising agency and try my luck in Hollywood, but before taking the plunge I went to Europe for a year of study, contemplation, and horsing around.

I have just returned and I still like words.

May I have a few with you?

Robert Pirosh

385 Madison Avenue, Room 610, New York, Eldorado 5-6024